I am on the sofa without any socks while the cold wind announces itself harshly. It finds its way through the gaps in the old doors and windows of the house. I am any day better than the guy I saw sleeping or passed out on the footpath in Gurgaon or those who try and gather warmth under a random Delhi flyover. Winters can be really cruel for humans and animals alike.

I can hear music from one of these windows. Looks like New Year came early for some. Today I pushed myself to sit and write in my journal, day 1 of reviving an old habit. An argument with someone, a difference in opinion and seeking permissions formed most of my day. Honestly, a day when I’d get pissed off but that’s life and someone told me that you need to decide how you react to things. So I stop and pause and ponder over things, I try and take steps towards better decisions. I am a failure but let’s see when I get better.

They are playing Bollywood party songs now, the ones you’d want to dance to but you are too tired or you are too cold. It is getting late and you want to catch up on some sleep you lost the last night because no matter how hard you tried you just couldn’t sleep. You went to work with a face that was dull and eyes that were tired. Thankfully you didn’t yawn and avoided being caught. Or you were caught and they didn’t say a thing. A silent acknowledgment?

A quick look at my inbox makes me realize that it gets full pretty soon mostly with junk. The spam folder surprisingly continues to get junk mails at an ever-increasing rate. Funny for someone who works and formulates emails that are sent to databases.

My feet are really cold now and the music grows louder as the city goes quieter. The people out on the roads shiver and their bodies try to warm themselves. The dogs are curled up in the corner, for tonight they will not bark so much, it takes great courage to be notorious in such cold weather.

I must retire now. The promise of catching up on lost sleep is important. In a while, a few motorcycles with loud and noisy exhausts will pass but I have grown used to them. I usually curse them for disturbing a calm winter night, for waking up the dogs and the bats on the gullar tree (cluster fig).

The temperature dips below 11 degrees and the clock is way past 10:30 pm. Until next time.

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